ARE YOU WORTH LOVING?

Hmmm, the answer couldn’t be so hard.  Without a thought, without hesitation, without blinking….the answer is simple.  Yet, I pause….I hesitate….I step back.  If I was asked a year ago, I could have answered right away.  Now, I don’t know. 

It’s an effort to recall the good times.  I can still remember how we started.  I even read the cards and letters you sent during brief hiatus.  For a while, I felt the rush and excitement of something new.  It was, after all, a wonderful adventure of life and self-discovery.  I wasn’t scared.  We have each other.  But like any other transitory earthly element, some good things never last.  That short-lived journey to the past was replaced by a sad feeling.  Tears welled up and I had to swallow the lump in my throat.  What a way to end a vacation!

Are you worth loving?  As my mind start to wander on a list of things, it makes me uncomfortable and ashamed to even think about them.  Just the mere thought!  I struggle clearing my mind in vain.  The things in the list are growing in number everyday.

What happened to us?  I look at you and I fought the rise of disappointment and weariness.  Like the lyrics of Broken Strings by James Morrison, “how can i give anymore when i love you a little less than before?”.  Then again, this is all just me and my wonderful, dirty mind.

I didn’t care
And I kept it to myself
I tried to deny it
It’s not working well

I didn’t try
And I felt scared
I want it to go away
It’s not getting better

I didn’t realize
And I am stuck
I can’t cure this disease
It’s not giving up

Watching it made me remember my old pet Andy which we left in Parañaque when we had to live here in Manila. So many memories came flooding back to me as the movie ended — our daily walk around the subdivision, his first encounter of a very mischievous kitten (where the only thing he could do was bark at it), the time when he had to be confined due to a large cut in the neck and so much more.

The dog is, after all, man’s best friend. Watching the movie made me remember that. Maybe someday, I’ll get to meet him again.

If  a cat like Charley would ever come my way, I won’t hesitate to give him the same care and attention that I would for a normal pet.  What the owner said in the video is true, that misdiagnosed and misunderstood animals are unnecessarily abused or destroyed.  Animals who are helpless and aberrant, not by choice but by fate.   I wish that people who lack the tolerance for lesser creatures will learn to recognize that all who live under the sky is entitled to a little niche in this earth.  And that somehow, a queer cat like Charley could help open their eyes.

If a picture paints a thousand words, then why was I particularly drawn to Edward Cullen when I saw this photo from one of my passionate photographer friends,Crom?  I have an inkling that your ears are  now so accustomed to the name that it would instantly register without the need of any introduction.  The entire universe seems to be immensely obsessed with bloodsuckers nowadays.

I read the first book, Twilight, several months ago upon the recommendation of one who, I thought, would be the last to even lay a hand on a love story.  I knew that she was a voracious reader and not wanting to be left in the sidelines when the whole book discussion starts, I decided to read it.  At that time, the vampire madness has not enveloped the peaceful world yet and it was still easy to find an ignored copy in any bookstore.

As the story unraveled and Edward was slowly revealed, I began to understand why he was catapulted to a Romeo-like status, the origins of which, the imagination of many as the perfect gentleman with the angelic face so handsome, it could be blinding!  His graceful movements, his voice, his piercing golden eyes…  The author’s almost abusive adulation of Edward is a potion a few can resist.  Who wouldn’t want to fall helpless in his uncomfortable granite hard arms?  Well, I wouldn’t.  He is still a vampire! Yaiks!  Talk about embracing the dead. 

Not long since, I had read the rest of the saga.  And although there were episodes where I just cringed at severe romantic narrations, I still craved to know the story’s ending. A vampire who fell in love with a human diffused the horrific pictures I had in mind.

Has Edward worked his spell on me?  Yes and No.  I’m not sure.  I enjoyed the story but I cant still separate the gentleman from the vampire.  Its a bloody and fatal combination.  I’ll just leave him to the creatures of the night and content myself to following his adventures on the pages of the novel.

since I can post here anything under the sun…then let me add this for the Twilight fans out there…

Something to look out for when you watch Twilight (again)…things you may not notice..

1.   When the ‘evil vampires’ make their first appearance, actors Cam Gigandet, Rachelle Lefevre and Edi Gathegi are all wearing little slippers painted like bare feet.

2.   When Bella is searching the internet and finds the link for the bookstore in Port Angeles, the link above it is for Little Brown. Little Brown is the publisher of the Twilight Saga.

3.   Cameo: [Stephenie Meyer] The author of the original books can be seen next to a laptop ordering a vegetarian sandwich in the diner at the beginning of the scene where Charlie asks Bella if she likes the boys in town

4.   At the cafeteria salad bar, Bella drops an apple which Edward picks back up and then cradles in his hands, copying the cover image of the Twilight novel.

5.   During the filming of the prom scene, Kristen Stewart didn’t like the songs playing so suggested ‘Flightless Bird, American Mouth’ by Iron & Wine which they decided to use.

6.       In the hospital scene, when Bella and her mother are talking about the accident, the TV in the background can be seen playing the previous scene.

7.  All of the Cullens can be seen wearing jewelry with the same symbol on it. Edward, Jasper, and Emmett all had the same wristband, and Alice and Rosalie had similar necklaces with the symbol on it; Esme had a bracelet and Carlisle had a ring. (The symbol refers to the family crest, which is a lion with a hand over its head, and a downward pointing chevron with 3 clovers. The lion was added because of the famous line “And so the Lion fell in love with the Lamb”, but the other portions (chevron, clovers, and hand) are from the actual Cullen Coat of Arms, although there are fewer clovers (2), more hands (3), and a sheaf of wheat on the real one.)

8.   Robert Pattinson unknowingly contributed two songs to this film. Apparently, he didn’t know that “a mysterious third party” had given the director a copy of music he had recorded years ago. She decided to use two of the songs, and he was surprised to hear them when viewing early film footage. The songs are: “Never Think” [playing during the restaurant scene] and “Let Me Sign” (plays during the scene where Edward has to drink Bella’s blood to save her). Pattinson said he was overwhelmed by how well “Let Me Sign” fit into the film.

9.   Catherine Hardwicke has said that she filmed a scene with’ Robert Pattinson’ taken directly out of ‘Midnight Sun’, the unfinished novel by Stephenie Meyer telling the story of Twilight through Edward’s perspective. Hardwicke said this scene will be on the DVD. (SOMETHING TO LOOK OUT FOR)

10.   The song playing on the background when Bella comes to “have dinner” at the Cullen’s is the aria “Libiamo” from La Traviata. “Libiamo” literally means “Let’s Drink”, which is exactly what the Cullens do when they “have dinner”.

11.   While entering the building at the prom, Victoria can be seen at a slot machine to the right of Bella, her hair in a bun, fur, and dress.

12.   When Edward enters the cafeteria, Robert Pattinson‘s sister, Lizzie, can be heard singing vocals on the soundtrack.

For more Twilight Trivia, check out this site… http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1099212/trivia

One more thing…in case you want a glimpse of New Moon – Movie >>> http://www.accesshollywood.com/kristen-stewart-sets-the-record-straight-on-twilight-rumors_article_15273   (it’s at the right side…wear your headphones)

After much trepidation, we finally mustered the courage to launch our very own group blog with the modest attempt of improving our relationship with the English language in the guise of self expression.  We bare our creative souls out in the open, ready to face even the harshest of scrutinies. This is an imperfect blog from a group of imperfect individuals.  We may not even come close to perfecting our craft, but we’ll practice anyway.